Finality comes with being recomposed by the winds.
Laughter burns up hearts of the innocent who run
With a whimsical stride.
I hear the winds breath every now and then
Through my living room window, while
The cars roar.
Shout at the moon, you flamboyant fire.
I am not appeased by your bite against
I want to wind up my past and toss it.
I want to fly up through the clouds.
The broken bond of ours puts out
One of the family.
For they used to walk in the wind
Where your childish whims dragged
Me down into fierce pits.
You’d burn me at the stake, if you could.
For all the anguish I endured at your hands,
I have arisen from the ashes bold.
I broke you down in the end. For the
Medicine you gave me throughout my
Agonizing childhood is now your own
May it burn as it goes down.
For you cried out for mercy when I
Thrust my hands across your face.
It was then you knew I was no longer
Afraid of you.
I was the one to protect myself from you.
For your hands and your words no longer
Hold me prisoner.
You disintegrated back into ashes when
Your children were not there. No other family,
Nor friends, either. Just your wife whom you
Tortured for so many years when your children
Were no longer there to be your punching bags.
Now, your remains sit on a shelf in your bedroom
Such a waste for a human being who never did
Anything in accordance to the Lord.
For you considered yourself to be greater than God.
You did nothing with your life.
For so long, you lived off the kindness of friends
And relatives alike, until you bit their hands.
Their generosity towards you ended when
You took them for granted.
Fires inside my soul raged in my twenties.
During my thirties, the flames died down,
Lit up again, died, down and lit up again.
A never ending cycle continued to burn
Inside of me.
I’m forty-seven and a half years old now.
I’m just starting to learn control of my
Hatred towards you.
So, I allow myself to feel only emptiness.
For to feel nothing is better than feeling
The agony of the past.
The emptiness keeps me company at night
When I sleep.
It’s a comfort to know you have no hold
However, at times when my past sneaks up
On me, it tries to strangle me.
Yes, my fires are lit once again,
I let my rage burn, take some deep breaths.
The fires die down while I use my mind to
Block the rage, and enable the emptiness to
My calamity goes away temporary.
My inner strength builds a little at a time
When the rage returns, it comes back weaker
And weaker then it was before.
Some day, it will be gone forever.
Perhaps the emptiness will be replaced
By something beautiful.
However, for now, I enjoy the quiet in my
Heart, mind, soul, and spirit.
© Copyright, Kiki Stamatiou, 2017