The Journey Towards Revising Life

Once again, I’m stuck with nothing in particular to write about.  I got no sleep last night.  I assumed after having my breakfast shake I’d be able to go back to sleep for couple of hours.  It didn’t happen.  My grandmother was crying, complaining bitterly about an upset stomach.  Nothing helped.  So, consequently, everyone in my household had to suffer.

I thought about continuing on my revisions for one of my stories, but I’m not motivated enough to do so.  Although I have more than one copy of my manuscript of the given story on my computer, I deleted the revised edition on my computer, because I didn’t think it was working well.  Now, I’m starting to regret deleting it.  Back when I was a small child in elementary school, my great-grandfather always said to go with the first choice.  My first choice was to revise it.  I did so.  However, it didn’t feel right the way it was written.  I didn’t believe it flowed well.  Now, I’m having second thoughts.

I can always go back to another of the original copy of the draft and revise it again, but it wouldn’t exactly be the same.  I suppose it would be better than nothing.  Then, again, for me to have deleted the revised edition, maybe it was the right decision to do so.  Perhaps I should have had an editor look at it first to get a professional opinion before deleting it.  However, I can’t dwell on what’s already been done.  All I can do is make a decision, and move onto the next phase from there.

I went to the gym yesterday, and put in thirty minutes on the treadmill.  The previous time at the gym, I did the treadmill at 2.1 mph.  Yesterday, I was able to increase the mph to 2.5 mph, because 2.1 mph and hour was too easy for me.  Therefore, I was in need of a quicker speed.  I read from Ronald Reagan’s diaries via the Kindle app on my Smart phone.  I’ve been trying to combine reading, writing, and getting physical exercise periodically so as to keep both the body and mind healthy.  They are all vital to sustaining good health and wellness.

Again, my thoughts abandon me.  There is no inspiration at all for writing this piece.  I hate having to ramble on about nothing of importance.  I’d like to get some reading done later today.  However, I first want to write a well though out article.  Generally, my articles are not well thought out at all.  I find if I plan what I’m going to say, my writing and thoughts don’t come out as fast enough.  Therefore, I’ve been free writing a lot lately.

I surf the internet for writing prompts.  Sometimes I find some which interest me, but lately I haven’t found any which put me in the mood to write.  I guess it’s because I’m not feeling them.  I have to feel and breathe the pieces I write which means pouring my mind, heart, spirit and soul into everything I write.

Right now, I’m filled with anger and frustration with myself as I push myself along to keep writing.  I’ve tried getting inspiration from the books and other types of literature I’ve been reading, but my thoughts won’t flow.  Many times I find it difficult to put the things I have in my head into words.  Therefore, if I have difficulty putting thoughts into words, I can’t get them down into print.

I have slight discomfort between the upper right side of my neck and the lower part of my skull.  It has to be from the stress my grandmother has caused me.

It’s uncomfortably warm here in my living room as I write this piece.  I just got up from the sofa to open the front door of the house to let in some fresh air.  I can immediately feel the difference.  The coolness of the air is deliciously invigorating.  It’s beautiful weather we’re having here in Kalamazoo.  It’s not too hot outside and not too cold.  Spring is my favorite time of the year.  I wish the weather could stay like this all year round.  However, it’s unfortunate when the season changes to summer, then to fall and then to winter.  Spring is the most perfect time of the year.

I realize there are allergies arising in the spring from the plants or tree mold; however, allergies are to be a given with any season of the year.  Therefore, I’m not bothered by the allergies.  I only like to take in the sweetness of the air and enjoy the beautiful weather.  For me, being outdoors in the springtime makes me feel like a kid again.  I remember the smells in the air surrounding my senses back when I was five, six, seven, and eight years old.  They were the golden years of my life.  Even the years prior to then were golden for me.  At nine years old things gradually changed, because I was growing up and maturing.  However, I still had the sense of wonder.

My brothers and I often played outdoors in our backyard with our friends.  It was a great time to be a kid.  When we are drifting from the preteen years into the teenage years, things become more complex.  By the time I was twelve years old, I no longer enjoyed playing outside.  For me, recess at school was a bore.  I felt I was too old to be playing on the playground.  Therefore, while the rest of my classmates were playing outdoors, I sat on a bench reading my textbooks for science and social studies.  I put more value on higher learning than I did on playtime.

At twelve years old, I still had my sense of wonder; however, it evolved.  It was then I developed an interest and a passion for poetry.  I began writing my own poems even though they didn’t follow the general rules of poetry.  My early pieces of poetry were mostly feelings.  They contained no imagery.  I assumed because I expressed my feelings in poetry, they were still poems nonetheless.  However, by the time I got into college, my creative writing teachers told me I needed more, because of the importance of establishing an emotional connection with my reading audience.

I can remember getting into arguments with my instructors and professors about the matter.  No matter what they told me, I thought I knew better than they did as to what good poetry consists of.  However, looking back my poetry wasn’t as good as I thought it was.  It does take more than just expressed emotions when writing poetry.  I learned throughout the years which followed poets have the responsibility to covey their message and to get their points across to the public.  They don’t need to have everything spelled out to their readers, but they do have the responsibility to enable their readers to live and breathe the pieces of writing they read throughout the duration of time they are reading them.  Such means is how and emotional connection between the narrator and the audience is established.

At the moment, I’m restless.  I’m trying to keep my fingers active through clicking the keys.  I don’t want to lost momentum.  Therefore, I write whatever words come into my mind.  However, I make sure they carry with them my intent for writing the given piece of writing.  I believe writers of all genres have the responsibility to teach, in addition to entertain.  In a given piece of writing regardless if it’s fiction, poetry, or nonfiction, writers have something to say and to express.  It’s vital the readers are able to recognize the message of the writers and learn something from the piece of writing no matter how mundane a piece may seem.

It has been with my experience even the mundane pieces of writing carry with them significance.  In Dante’s Inferno, I didn’t feel an emotional connection with the narrator of the story, because I didn’t feel moved by anything Dante had to say.  It wasn’t until towards the end of Dante’s Purgatory did I begin to feel something.  I was deeply moved as I delved further into the writings, especially throughout the entire part of Dante’s Paradise.  The first book, Dante didn’t appear to have been written with feeling.  Therefore, he made me not care fore much for the narrator nor the main character in the story.

To make one’s readers care about the characters of a story or about the given story itself, writers must feel something when writing.  Otherwise the pieces feel one dimensional.  At least they feel so to me.  For me, as a reader of a given piece of writing, I have the urgency to feel what the writer was feeling at the time he or she wrote the given piece.  Therefore, I want to be taken on an emotional journey with the writer, narrator and character of the story.

It’s not enough to show the readers what’s happening in the story, although showing a story is crucial.  Showing the story has to be combined with the heart, soul, spirit and mind of the writer, narrator, and characters of a given story.  In doing so, I as a reader will care about the characters, and the story itself, as will other readers who read the given piece of writing.  Therefore, the writer is able to make an impact on his or her readers.  When an impact is made, people become inspired.  Therefore, the impact gets people talking about the piece of writing and the author.  When discussion about a piece of writing occurs, the entire world becomes impacted and a major contribution to society is made in part by the writer.  He or she has somehow brought change to society and to the world.

There is a treasure trove of knowledge out there.  Everyone is knowledgeable about something.  It’s just a matter of finding a means for conveying the knowledge and experience in an esoteric, prolific and profound way.  Through doing so, writers end up making a difference in someone’s life.

Discoveries in the fields of science and medicine are made everyday.  The same can be said about literature.  I like to believe all the areas of study in existence are somehow connected together.  I wish I knew how all the areas of study are connected together.  If I did, then perhaps I could unravel all of the mysteries of life.  However, maybe no one has been able to make the connection for unlocking every mystery of life, because perhaps we as human beings aren’t supposed to know everything.  On the other hand, perhaps if people from all walks of life who are knowledgeable in a select few areas of study could combine their knowledge with folks in other professions and areas of study.  Through combining our minds with others, maybe we can somehow derive at the conclusions leading towards the answers we are looking for when it comes to unraveling the mysteries of life.

I’m wondering if we could perhaps bring about peace throughout the world through working together to unravel all the mysteries of life.  In doing so, we’d also be helping Einstein somehow realize his own dream for solving his Everything Theory.  He was the biggest genius of the twentieth century and maybe even after his death leading through today’s times.  It would take several genius in various fields to equal his measure and greatness.  Through doing so, the mysteries of the world could unravel a little bit at a time.

The pyramids for instance perhaps can be representative in a symbolic way of various organizations working together for a common goal through the means of forming tiers.  I’m not referring to a pyramid scheme, but perhaps if the experts in every area of study formed their own projects under a top organization like through working together as a team.  Perhaps the bottom tier or area of study of a given profession or field could be the foundation for other areas of study and build everything up through such a means.  Combined, such pyramid is stronger than ever.  Knowledge for unlocking the mysteries of life will gradually have the answers Einstein was looking for.

© Copyright, Kiki Stamatiou, 2016

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