Y2: Day 41 (Revisiting Your Goals. What Worked?) Revising My Goals, I’ve Found Some Positive Changes Which Occurred Along The Way

Revisiting my goals for the my500words writing challenge, I found some positive changes which occurred along the way.  I completed my novel Blaine as I anticipated.  I wrote throughout the month of January from the start of the month through the end.  However, when February came around, I was feeling in a slump and wasn’t up to part emotionally.  I was going through some personal issues and didn’t implement the daily practice of writing each day from February 1st through the 7th.  I did get back into the habit of writing each day on February 8th and haven’t slowed down since.

I have been writing at least 1000+ words each day.  I’ve found myself digging even deeper into my soul than I’ve done in a long, long, long while.  I haven’t gotten my writings published novels and other book form manuscripts published yet, because I’m waiting to get accepted by a well known traditional publisher.  At this point, I don’t know I will get my works of fiction published.  I have been publishing increments of my writing on my blog; however, not much else has happened with my writing.

It is a difficult and painful process waiting to hear back from a publisher, only to be rejected.  I’m still waiting to hear back by two other publishers, but I’m getting a little antsy about waiting for them to respond.  I know it’s important for me to be patient when it comes to getting a response from them.  However, I feel a great urgency to get my fiction published right now.  Sales and marketing have never been my strong suit.  So therefore, I’ve chosen not to self-publish.

After completing my novel Blaine last month, I’ve elected not to pursue extended projects of fiction.  I’ve only writing a few flash fiction pieces of which I’ve published to my blog, along with some nonfiction pieces and poetry.  I know it’s important to use my own voice when writing.  But sometimes it’s hard to do so when the publishers are looking for specific pieces of fiction.  So, therefore, I believe to some degree my voice has been sacrificed for the sake of getting accepted for publication.  Even then, I don’t get accepted when giving the publishers what they want.

I often strive to make each piece of writing I compose even better than the previous piece.  Like many writers, I’m a perfectionist.  I know for this particular exercise it is stressed for we writers not to be ourselves up when it comes to meeting our own goals and expectations.  I have grown to some degree with my writing.

I have been writing to the point of exhaustion on some days when working on compositions for the writing challenge.  Some days are more easier than others when it comes to implementing ideas into a piece of writing.  However, during the difficult days when the words don’t come to me as easily, I keep writing and writing and writing until I have at least 100+ words.  I allow myself to take a couple of deep breaths in between my thoughts to get myself to calm down and relax.  Doing so helps words flow out of me so I can then type them up on my computer.

I haven’t been journaling much lately.  To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I sat down with my notebook and pen, and wrote out my thoughts, views, and ideas by hand.  It’s a discipline I must get back into taking up, in addition to participating in the writing challenge on a daily basis.

I haven’t begun composing the third book in my romance series yet.  I don’t know I will, because of the anguish and frustration I’ve gone through when trying to get the first two books in the romance series published.  I also don’t think I have much more I can add to the story.  So, for now, it’s finished.

I believe I need to step away from the writing of fiction for a while, and take the initiative to be more of an active participant in life.  So far as I know, I’ve been observing life.  The only active lifestyle I’ve had for the past ten years is mostly being a care giver for my elderly grandmother.  I’m mostly around my aunt, grandmother, and my uncle.  I do see my brother from time to time; however I don’t see much of anyone else.

Please don’t misunderstand me.  I do see people at the grocery store several times a week when my aunt, grandmother and I go out for some fresh air and to get some exercise through walking around in the stores.  We usually buy some things we need from the store which we didn’t remember to purchase during our previous trip.

On day two of the writing challenge, I specified one of my goals being for me to teach folks how to use creative writing as a means for healing oneself from within through my writing compositions.  I still haven’t gotten around to writing such compositions.  I’ve been busy with the writing challenge.  I need to do more.  I need to make more of an effort to stick to my goals and my plans for bringing about positive changes in the world through my own writing compositions.

I’m in no way trying to beat myself up; however, I need to remind myself and stress the importance of making a greater contribution to society through the written word, instead of just letting my thoughts and feelings on the given subject linger around just for the purpose of completing a writing composition each day.

I’ve been composing some brief lines and phrases on my Smart Phone from time to time when taking a drive in the car with my aunt and grandmother.  However, I’ve mostly been focusing on the composition assignments for the my500words writing challenge.

I believe I can write more than I am on a daily basis.  I know because I’ve done so before.  If I show a bit more dedication and initiative, I can compose at least 2000+ words daily.  There have been days where I was composing even 3000+ words in a given day.  I’d like to do so more often.

I have stuck to the goal of learning from other writers to grow with my craft and as a human being.  I’ve read articles written by my peers here at the my500words FB page, and have learned much about not only the discipline of writing.  I’ve also learned how it’s okay not to be perfect with my writing.  I’ve also learned the importance of not giving up on myself or with the writing craft.  I’ve found one quote on FB which stated, “You only fail, if you stop writing.”  Such words have kept me going during the difficult times.  As I’ve stated, the first seven days of February have been trying for me, because I’ve been going through some personal issues on the emotional level.  It was around this time I’ve read the quote in particular which inspired me and transformed my outlook on failure.

© Copyright, Kiki Stamatiou, 2016


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