Y2: Day 18 (Write About Waiting) Waiting For Silence To Come

I’m sitting here at my computer typing away my thoughts and views.  My grandmother is once again crying in the background.  She keeps crying and crying nonstop.  I try to be patient to wait for her to stop; however, deep down, I know she’s not going to stop until my aunt awakens from her slumber and gets her out of bed.  Then, my grandmother’s jabbering.

A few days ago, we went to one of the Walmart stores in my local area.  We had to wait and wait and wait in line when paying for our goods, because the folks in the front of us had their baskets filled to the top.  One woman had two grocery carts filled to the top with groceries.

Frustration brewed inside of me, and restlessness set in.  Why do I have to endure such anguish.  I wish these people would hurry up.  What did they need to go and buy so many grocery items in the first place.

 I stood behind my aunt with the grocery cart, while she had her hands on my grandmother’s wheelchair, readying herself to move on to the next available  self check out.  She said, “People are buying up all they can from the grocery store today, because they worry about having another snow storm.”

Right now, I’m at a loss for words as I contemplate what more to say for this article regarding having to wait.  Try as I may to free up my mind, it’s no use.  I’m currently overwhelmed with stress from getting very little to no sleep last night.  My grandmother kept me and the rest of my household up all hours of the night with her crying.  She’s still crying as I write.

I confronted my aunt many times throughout the torture of having to deal with my grandmother’s crying, but she only used the excuse of my grandmother crying in her sleep or being in pain.  Whatever it actually is, it’s got to stop.  My nerves cannot tolerate anymore.  My aunt is not understanding about my feelings.  When I confronted her about my grandmother’s crying, she gave more excuses.  I’m waiting for the excuses to stop.  I’m still waiting for my grandmother’s crying to stop.

I’m feeling drowsy as I type this article, due to the lack of sleep last night.  When I got up a little after nine o’clock this morning, I had my protein shake, and went back to bed to attempt to get some sleep.  It worked for a little while, because I did, by some miracle, manage to get in two hours of sleep.  At the moment, I can barely keep my eyes open.  However, I’m sitting here on the sofa, plugging away to maintain some sort of momentum.

I have to stop periodically, because I’m getting tired.  However, I know it will do me no good at this time to go into my bedroom and lay down on my bed.  I’m not going to be able to get sleep regardless of how drowsy I am.  I’m only going to get jolted out of my sleep the moment I begin to doze off.

I don’t think my aunt will have plans to go out anywhere, because the roads outside are covered with snow, as is our driveway.  My grandmother would only be sliding, making it difficult for us to transfer from her wheelchair to the front passenger seat of the car.

I’m struggling right now to keep my eyes open; however, I don’t attempt to stop.  I do take two second breaks at intervals to rest my eyes.  I don’t know how much good it will do for me; however, it seems to help lots and is working to some capacity.

Now, all is silent; however, I don’t know for how long.  My grandmother could start up her crying at any given moment.  I guess I have to take in the quiet as it comes even if it does come only in small spurts.

My arms are beginning to tire.  A moment ago, my arms dropped as I was typing, because of exhaustion.  However, I do manage to somehow maintain focus.  It’s torture operating on just a little bit of sleep.  I was lucky to get in the amount of sleep I had.

I’m currently waiting for the green tea and the banana I ate to kick in.  I read in one of the health periodicals how bananas are supposed to provide energy to the body.  However, I don’t believe it’s enough to sustain me or my energy.  At least it isn’t doing so at the moment.

I’d love to be able to climb into my bed and sleep for a while longer.  However, I don’t, because I know how important it is for me to write.  I check the word count ever so many sentences to see how close I am to the one thousand mark for my word count.  I realize we are only expected to write on the given subject of “waiting” in the amount of only 500 words; however, I’d like to make it a little over a thousand.  I’m going to sit here at my table, pushing myself to come up with ideas and views so I can in turn type them out onto the computer.

It’s nice having peace and quiet for the moment.  I can almost hear my own thoughts.  I try to keep my mind free through allowing thoughts and ideas to enter my mind more freely.

I’m in more need of stopping and taking a break than what I was moments earlier.  However, at the same time, I feel like I’m beginning to wake up.  So, I guess the green tea and banana have started kicking in.  They are working somehow.  My drowsiness is slowly fading away.  I don’t know if my mind is any clearer than what it was moments ago.  However, I make the conscious effort to remain focused on my computer screen.  In doing so, I’m compelled to punch away at the keys on my keyboard.

Although, it took a while for my grandmother to finally quiet down, now the quiet is here, and I feel like it’s heaven.  I can finally settle back in my sofa, and enjoy the rest of my day.

© Copyright, Kiki Stamatiou, 2016

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