Conflict With The Self

Throughout most of her life, Dominica had always been plagued by her own insecurities.  On the first day of high school during her freshman year, looking into the mirror hanging on her bedroom wall, she applied her make-up, through the glass bottle containing the makeup unto the floor, collapsed and cried, while trembling, and rocking back and forth.

“I ugly,” she shouted, “I thought over the summer, my flaws would disappear.  The acne is cleared up, but my stupid fat nose is still there, and so are my crooked teeth.  I don’t care how bright and white they are.  All these things make me look so ugly.”

Her mother walked into the room, helped her up from the floor, saying, “Dominica, what are you doing?  You should be heading into the kitchen to have some breakfast, and start heading outside to catch the bus thereafter.  I don’t want you to miss the bus on your first day of school.  It’s a new beginning for you.  You’re in high school, now.”

“Big deal.  I can’t go out with friends or to any school functions looking the way I do.  I’m still ugly.  Why did I have to be born an ugly duckling.  I hate the way I look.  My nose is too fat and ugly.  Even with makeup, I can’t hide any of my flaws,” Dominica stammering while walking over to her bedroom door, punching it with her fist.

“Calm down, dear.  You need to take some deep breaths.  Clean up the tears from your eyes, go into the kitchen, and have some breakfast, so you can be off to school when the bus arrives,” her mother advised while picking up the pieces of the broken bottle from the floor.

Dominica didn’t eat breakfast.  Her stomach was so upset, it was like a whirlwind stirring in there.

Heading outside, she waited for the bus in the driveway with her two brothers, and some neighbor kids.

Turning her head to the left, she saw the bus heading down the road in her direction.  She and the others formed a line, and climbed the bus steps when it approached them, making a complete stop.

Dominica took the seat to the rear of the bus, slumping over on her seat, hoping to hide her face.  However, she was approached by her friend Lara, who got up from the seat across from her and came to sit with her.  “Hello, Dominica.  Did you have a great summer?”

“It could have been better,” Dominica muttered in a whisper.

“Why so down, Dominica?  This is our first day of high school.  You should be excited,” Lara suggested while setting her duffel bag onto the floor of the bus in front of her.

“I hadn’t grown into my face yet, like I hoped I would,” Dominica grumbled while gazing out the window, staring back at her house as the bus took off.

“What do you mean by that?  Dominica, there’s nothing wrong with your face.  It’s just your opinion.  Your skin looks very healthy, and your makeup is applied beautifully.  Cheer up.  Things will look better once we arrive at school,” Lara giggled.

© Copyright, Kiki Stamatiou, 2015

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