What if I had chose to pursue a career in psychiatry, instead of becoming a writer. In this scenario, the would be no violence in my life. My parents are loving, nurturing, supportive, and encouraging, not only with my educational pursuits, but with my career choice. I would be very popular in high school. Perhaps I would have participated on the debate team. If my parents were supportive people, I most likely would not have attended the little country school. My family and I would have stayed in the Kalamazoo Public School District. There would be no pain or suffering in my life. My father would be educated and have a good job. He’d be successful. My brothers would be successful, I would be successful at my chosen field. My mother would be a graduate of an ivy league school.
Had I chose to pursue a field in psychiatry, instead of choosing to become a writer, I would have a job working in a psychiatric hospital here in Kalamazoo. I would come across souls suffering from enduring a hard life, resulting from facing too much reality.
Perhaps I would not be able to relate to them, because I grew up in a healthy environment. If I couldn’t relate to them, I would have no understanding as to what they went through in life, and of the suffering they would continue to endure.
If I had not endured a violent life, I wouldn’t have endured post traumatic stress syndrome. I wouldn’t have written the novel Dominica’s Inferno. There would have been no Dominica’s Inferno, because I wouldn’t be a writer. I would be focusing my attention of living my life to the fullest extent with my own family.
Back in the fall of 1992, I went to Chicago to visit with relatives. My aunt and uncle wanted to introduce me to a young man, my uncle had known since he was a baby. I went to a dance with them where we were to meet up with the young man and his parents. What if I had said yes to his marriage proposal. Chances are, I would be suffering in life, because I would end up with difficult in laws. Yes, I most likely would have a family of my own. However, it most likely would be a life filled with drudgery.
I didn’t like the vibes I was getting from the guy. If I had ignored my gut feelings, and decided to marry him anyway, I would be paying for the mistake of marrying him, because he would turn out to be domineering and abusive. So would his parents.
If I hadn’t endured a life filled with violence during the first 22 years of my life, I would have ended up being too trusting with people. I would have made the serious mistake of marrying the guy my aunt and uncle in Chicago introduced me to. It would have been a costly mistake.
As for becoming a psychiatrist instead of becoming a writer, I wouldn’t have the ability to empathize with the soldiers. I wouldn’t have encountered the WWII soldier when I was attending Western Michigan University. I wouldn’t have been political like I was back during my college years. I most likely would have attended a university other than Western Michigan University. Therefore, had the World War Two soldier and I never met in the little grocery store near campus, we wouldn’t have had the conversation we did about war, politics, life, and suffering. He and I wouldn’t have impacted each others lives, had we never met.
Had I not attended Western Michigan University, I wouldn’t have participated in the protest against the war having gone on in Kuwait. I wouldn’t have encountered the soldiers at the protest who spoke out against the war, but in favor of the soldiers. I wouldn’t have read my poem at the gathering, because the poem would have never been written. For I wouldn’t be a writer.
© Copyright, Kiki Stamatiou, 2015