Day 57: (Let Go) Life Doesn’t Always Go According To Plan

Life doesn’t always go according to the way we plan it.  Upon graduating from high school, I set a ten year plan for my life.  First, I’d graduate from college.  Right after college graduation, I write my first novel, and get it published right away.  Not only was I supposed to get accepted by a major publisher, but I was supposed to make the bestsellers list, both national and international.  My novel was supposed to have the #1 spot on all the bestsellers lists.  Next, the novel was to be made into a major motion picture that I would write.  I was to win at least one Academy Award for best screenplay, Golden Globe Award for best screenplay, along with other major film awards.  I was also supposed to win major awards in literature.

My objective was to become extremely wealthy, where I would live in Beverly Hills California, living in a huge mansion, where I’d have a library comprised of my own bestselling books.  This was all supposed to be achieved within ten years of graduating from high school.

My first book didn’t get accepted for publication until May of 2005.  It was published in April 2006.  So I missed the goal there.

Although I won some honors and awards through entering poetry competitions, I didn’t win the Grand Prize.  However, I was a finalist in the 2003 Poet of the Year Competition sponsored by one of the poetry organizations I belonged to.    However, these achievements happened well after the ten mark time limit I set for myself.

I have not become a successful screenwriter yet.  I don’t know when or if that will happen.  This is something only God knows the answer to.

I don’t live in a mansion in Beverly Hills, California.  Instead, I live with my aunt, and elderly grandmother.  I help my aunt with taking care of my grandmother.  Therefore, I have to divide my time between writing, reading, and caring for her.  I also spend time with family and friends.

It would have been nice if I could achieve all of the things I strove for within the ten year time frame I set for myself, but life didn’t work out that way.  Life throws curveballs.

I believe it was not part of God’s plan for me to achieve these things within the time frame I set for myself.  It is unknown where my writing endeavors will take me.  However, through the struggles I’ve endured in life, there were many lessons I had to learn along the way.  I have become stronger emotionally and psychology, through overcoming adversity in my life, although for many years I was plagued by stress they called.  Not only did this force me to make serious changes in my life with regard to my health, but also with what I wanted out of life.  I found that my original goals changed over the years.

For a while, I considered giving up on my writing endeavors, because pursuing them wasn’t getting me anywhere in life.  Upon putting my writing endeavors aside, I applied to business after business, hoping either to get a teller position, factory work, or office work, anything that would bring a descent income the easy way, instead of me having to struggle trying to make a living as a writer.

Back in 2014, I came very close to getting a teller position at a bank.  I remember praying to God that I wouldn’t get the position.  It was then that I realized that type of work wasn’t right for me.  To get hired would give me a great feeling of succeeding in getting the position; however, I thought about how unhappy I’d be doing such a profession.  I didn’t want to be doing the same thing day in and day out.  At that point in my life, I knew I didn’t want to be doing anything with my life other than making a living as a writer.  Writing as a profession was all that felt right to me.  The other professions didn’t feel right.  I knew I could never be happy doing something I wasn’t passionate about.  I was wrong to want to take on a profession for the sake of the money alone.  What’s most important is doing something that makes me happy, contented and fulfilled, in the long run.

© Copyright, Kiki Stamatiou, 2015

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